Why is it that some of us as Black people have a problem accepting the success, good fortune, or hard
work of other Black folks? Most of us spend most of our lives trying to eke out a living surviving
paycheck-to-paycheck. When we finally get in a position to better our living conditions or mode of
transportation there is always someone in our circle of friends or enemies with something negative to say about it.
If your neighbors of ten years decide to move to an affluent neighborhood, be happy for them. If your coworker comes to work in a new car and you know they don’t make any more money than you, be happy for them. If your friend finally finds that special someone and you have been searching forever and are still spending your nights alone, be happy for them. If you see a young brother or sister with an entrepreneurial spirit trying to provide a positive social event for area professionals, be happy for them.
Just because you want to move to a better neighborhood but can’t, just because you need a new vehicle but can’t afford one, just because you can’t seem to find that special someone when your friends are in committed relationships, just because you didn’t think of the entrepreneurial idea first, there is no reason to put those that can, have and did, down. You don’t know what sacrifices people go through to get what they want. Maybe, just maybe they saved their money to live the way they want. Maybe they won the lottery. Maybe they choose to eat biscuits with syrup or peanut butter sandwiches in order to live in a nice home or drive the car they want because that is all they can afford. That is their business. We as a people need to stop putting each other down because of jealousy.
The hip-hop genre coined a term for these people “Player Hater” – one who is jealous and does any and everything possible to hold down the next man. Some of us have no idea that you are a player hater so for the benefit of you who may not know, here are some identifying tips:
- If you know your “girl” is interested in or seeing a man and you try to talk to him or sleep with him,
you are a “Player Hater.” - If you and your friends are hanging out discussing a friend, and everyone has something positive to say about them except you, you are a “Player Hater.”
- If you have ever given a compliment and taken it back in the same sentence, such as “That outfit really looks nice on you, but I wouldn’t have worn those shoes with it,” you are a “Player Hater.”
- If you are invited to someone’s home and when you leave you and your wife talk about the “tacky” furniture or the ugly color of the curtains, or how small their TV is for that big room, you are a “Player Hater.”
- If you disagree with how your “Partner” treats his lady and you call her and tell her what hotel she can find him and his other woman at, you are a “Player Hater.”
- If you accuse other women of being a “Gold Digger” but you are doing the exact same thing, only you are doing it for free, you are a “Player Hater” and a fool.
- If you take your employee’s idea and “pass it off” to your boss as your own, you are a “Player Hater.”
Whether you call it “Player Hating” or “Crabs in a Barrel” it all boils down to one eight-letter word, jealousy. We have got to learn to be happy for each other and not jealous of what others have. Remember what God has for you He has for you. Their fortune today could be your fortune tomorrow.