Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation

By Wane Hailes

There are a lot of people in our community, as well as our families, who are going through difficult situations. There is no question we are living in trying times. The truth is that we all find ourselves going through struggles at one time or another. It is how we choose to deal with adversity that defines us.

Here are two stories that come to mind that hopefully may help someone who is struggling today.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she would make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.

As one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon, the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots. In the second, she placed eggs, and in the last, she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then, she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me, what do you see?”

“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” the young woman replied. The mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water – but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, it softened and became weak after being subjected to boiling water.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting in boiling water, its inside became hardened! The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” the mother asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?” Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, or a financial hardship, does my shell look the same? But inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean changes the hot water, the circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

The Cross Room

The young man was at the end of his rope.

Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer.

“Lord, I can’t go on,” he said.

“I have too heavy a cross to bear.”

The Lord replied,

“My son, if you can’t bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then open another door and pick any cross you wish.”

The man was filled with relief.

“Thank you, Lord,” he sighed and did as he was told.

As he looked around the room, he saw many different crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall.

“I’d like that one, Lord,” he whispered.

And the Lord replied, “My son, that’s the cross you brought in.”

Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation.