Somebody Has To Say It; So, It Might As Well Be Me!

Recently while visiting the mall, I saw some of everything shower caps, hair rollers, pajamas, sagging pants, leggings that show the wearer’s bottom, low-rider shorts and torn jeans showing lots of skin. I saw sheer tops without a bra revealing perky breasts, but more often than not some that obviously lost their perkiness quite a while ago.

Some of you need to stop believing that just because it looks good in a size 8, it’s going to look good in a size 24.

Case in point, I witnessed a size 24-plus-woman walk in with her child and her hips and thighs were fighting a pair of yoga pants. They are supposed to fit snugly around the calf, not cutting off your circulation and for you skinny women, not hanging loose like a bell ringing when you walk.

This particular woman had obviously decided she was going to get in these pants or else because the seams where the pants are to fit around the calves were split up to her knees. She also wore a sleeveless orange top, which by itself wasn’t that bad except that the back of her neck looked like an eight-pack of hot dogs. Somebody in her family, a girlfriend, her “Boo,” someone should have told her no.

Please, before all of you, “I’m not fat I’m just ‘big-boned’,” women start to cussing me out, let me be perfectly clear I am not “Fat Shaming” anyone.

I have nothing against a “Pleasingly Plump” woman. This “View From A Pew is not about weight. I don’t care if you start out in the morning wearing a pair of high heel shoes, but by the end of the day they are flats.

My problem is large women trying to wear clothes and shoes that work against them and not for or with them There are many, many large women who look great in their clothes. Of course, they don’t purchase cheap clothing either. I’m sure you get the picture, whether you can stomach it or not.

Speaking of stomachs, some of you need to understand that low rider jeans are for women with no stomach. To my young “sisters,” if you are pregnant, those jeans are not appropriate maternity wear.

To you older women, we really do not need to see your stomach hanging over a pair of low rider jeans.

In your mind, you are thinking you “still got it going on.” The only thing you’ve got “going on,” is time; time for you to realize that you are not 16 anymore; time for you to become one with Spanx and most importantly, time for you to stop embarrassing yourself and your kids.

While I’m at it I understand tattoos are all the rage these days. I have no problem with a butterfly on the ankle, but when I see a mother walking in the building with a tattoo of a panther covering her whole chest, that’s just too much for me. And remember, it may be a panther today, but in 10 years, trust me; it’s going to look more like a giraffe.

Finally, regardless of how you dress, can you please remember to put some lotion, petroleum jelly or Crisco on your body. I saw enough crust (ash) on the back of some of the ladies’ heels, I could have made two deep dish apple pies.